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Fahrenheit or Centigrade?
When I first arrived stateside, I couldn’t tell the temperature in Fahrenheit. Don’t sweat - this cup isn’t more cloud metaphor. It’s focused on last week’s Senate subcommittee hearing that pitted Fed IT’s two weathermen pointer to pointer. OMB’s VanRoekel vs. GAO’s Powner.
First up, OMB. Leave your umbrella at home - sunshine, low humidity.
The “Egg McMuffin” of Data Centers
Data Center Consolidation’s all blue skies. Though OMB keeps changing the amount we’ll save by 2015 – started at $3 billion under Vivek, VanRoekel kicked it up to $5 billion, now he’s downgraded to $3 billion again - OMB says it’s the “Egg McMuffin” of beach days for FDCCI.
Apparently Uncle Sam’s shuttered 267 data centers to date - and plans to close 429 more this year. Couple questions - were we starting from the 1,100 or the 2,800 data centers? Oh, and what’s the definition of a data center? And, of course, the really big question - how close are we to the $3 billion in savings, I mean $5 billion in savings, sorry $3 billion in savings?
OMB talked about the CapEx/OpEx inflection front. Keep an eye out for a new MeriTalk study “The Color of Money” that provides insight on Feds’ progress on the shift. It’ll tip onto the street on June 25.
Cloudy with a Chance of FedRAMP
Next up, VanRoekel referenced cloud and FedRAMP - do once/use many cloud security program to help agencies accelerate to the cloud. No new details. According to a recent study MeriTalk fielded at the Cloud Computing Exchange meeting with Senators Brown and Carper, FedRAMP has some significant challenges - keep an eye out for the study in the coming weeks. A quote from a frustrated Federal CIO - “For all the talk of ‘Cloud First,’ I can’t find any IAAS providers that have been blessed by GSA. It’s like a bad joke.”
Billions for the Taxpayer
The big close from OMB - Feds have saved $4 billion with 300 TechStats. Not $3 billion or $5 billion, right down the middle. And, focused at the agency vs. program level, new PortfolioStats will kick it up a level - how many more billions? Curious to see how Americans take TechStat and PortfolioStat savings to the bank. Are we giving money back to the tax payer? Is this largess being reinvested in IT? Does every tax payer get their own data center - and if so, how many square feet is each data center?
Change in the Weather
Next up, GAO’s Powner gestures with his pointer across a very different weather map. It’s not a monsoon, but nobody’d plan a picnic listening to GAO’s forecast. Net it out, GAO says OMB has prematurely claimed victory on 10 items in the IT Reform Plan. Interesting nobody calls it the 25-Point Plan anymore - you heard it here first that there were too many points of light. Even the almighty got it down to 10 commandments...
So, is it raining or not? According to GAO, in December 2011, OMB’s 25-Point Plan - I mean IT Reform Plan - progress report said that it had completed “the 10 action items” in the plan - back to the commandments. Seven were complete and three partially complete. GAO thinks OMB has the math upside down - three complete, seven works in progress.
Anybody else find this disagreement puzzling in what is supposed to be a binary world?
But, here’s the magic math. OMB says that the 25-Point Plan “served its purpose by acting as a catalyst for a set of broader initiatives.” Wow - no funding to support change and no accountability - why ever do Americans question why we bother to go to the polls? So, if it feels like it’s raining, think catalyst and broader initiatives and you won’t get wet…
How do we get such different weather reports in the same time zone? Perhaps OMB and GAO are confused, as I was, about the difference between Fahrenheit and Centigrade?
Why Are You So Obsessed with Fed Data Centers?
Good question. Guess it’s the tangibility and intangibility of these IT power plants that intrigues me - now you see them, now you don’t. They’re critical, sad, and comic. If you’re interested in hearing the straight forecast on FDCCI, attend the MeriTalk Data Center Exchange Brainstorm on June 19.
150 Fed data center leads registered. Colonel Chris Miller, Army’s Data Center Lead. All government speakers in sessions on Energy, Chargeback, and RoI. If you’re looking to consolidate your Federal data center learning, attend the Data Center Exchange Brainstorm on June 19. We promise you won’t get wet inside the Newseum.
Yep – like every other middle-aged fella, I had to have an iPad. It’s cool. It’s slick. But I sported a mullet too...
At my “padiversary,” I’ve stopped lugging it to meetings. Couldn’t make intelligible notes. Keyboards for people that don’t need to work. Yes, you can get a keyboard built into a fancy case – but that’s just one more thing to hump around. Baffling battery – thing’s always flat when I need it. I end up making notes with another technology – the Biro. You can read the whitepaper here.
At the airport, I need three bins at security. One for shoes. One for laptop. One for the pad. So much for Steve Jobs’ simple. Yes, I still have to take my laptop – just in case I have to do more than Angry Birds.
And, the iPad infestation’s wreaking havoc on Feds' IT security profiles. CISOs will do the conga if they turn into the next Rubik’s Cube or George Foreman Grill.
Am I the only one that didn’t like Dances With Wolves? Am I just a fuddie duddie, or is the iPad just a big phone that doesn’t make calls? Great for the consumer, but does the iPad have a legitimate seat in the mainstream workplace? If you had to chose between a pad and a PC – who’s the winner?
Quick search on YouTube – seems I’m not alone. To be fair, I'm never without the iPhone.
Oh, and not to trash the tech train, but now Facebook’s public – and Zuckerberg’s a zillionaire – has business finally worked out that it’s jumped the shark?
P.S. Congrats to Adriane Burton and the GITEC board on a great conference this week.
Data Center Comedy
Who thought that DCC stood for Data Center Comedy? Nothing humorous about FDCCI - well, I beg to differ.
Meet Data Center Dave. He’s MeriTalk’s newest creation - shorter and funnier than the Cloudboys. Dave is the Federal Data Center manager.
Dave feels like everyone’s out to shut him down - and he can’t work out if he’s really a data center or not because OMB keeps changing the definitions.
He’s taking up levitation because he feels floating in the air is easier than trying to cut the number of data centers while keeping all applications up and running.
Keep an eye out for more of Data Center Dave’s antics. More consolidation clowning on the way.
And, if you don't think Data Center Dave’s funny, check out OMB’s FDCCI survey. Seems OMB already hired an analyst firm to quiz the agency data center leads. The punch line here - the survey’s so far out of touch with the market, Federal data center leads have no idea how to answer the questions. A number of the leads, frustrated and scratching their heads, have forwarded the study to the Data Center Exchange.
Will be curious to see if OMB makes the results public - and how this expenditure actually helps FDCCI? Why is OMB paying for services when the Data Center Exchange and others offer more-in-touch services for free? Why is GSA building its own Data Center Consolidation Cookbook, when the MeriTalk Data Center Exchange worked with agency leads to publish a Data Center Cookbook six months ago - and offered to share it with GSA at no cost?
I’m laughing so hard I’m crying…
But, let’s wipe away the tears. We’re taking Data Center Dave and the Data Center Cookbook on the road at the upcoming GITEC and Uptime Institute conferences. And, mark your calendar for the Data Center Brainstorm on June 19. The Army’s data center lead delivers the morning keynote. Then sessions on chargeback, energy, and RoI. All the Federal data center leaders under one roof. focused, in touch discussion to make things better. Nothing to laugh about here…