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Stink Bug Stew

Posted: 1/24/2011 - 9 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ]

Move over bed bugs - America’s got a new creepy crawly obsession. Pentatomoidea. Suborder Heteroptera. Order Hemiptera. No matter how fancy the handle, dead stink bugs are inches deep in our homes. More Chinese imports, these cursed crustaceans are cramping my crib. Landing on my touch screen, they’re resetting my zoom view - there’s the reach IT reference. I’d never clapped eyes on ‘em ‘til the recession. Now, let’s face it, stink bugs are our economy - slow, ugly, and well, let’s not sugar coat, stinky.

But, maybe that’s it - why not sugar coat ‘em? Why not fricassée or fondue? We eat soft shell crabs, right? Aren’t they crustaceans? Perhaps the recession’s symptom and cure are all one. Can’t we eat our way to recovery - a new cut on the economic crunch? Aren’t bugs high in fiber, protein, and antioxidants - and low in cholesterol? And with every forkful, we’d be helping out our farmers - saving apples, grapes, and tomatoes from stinking up.

Let’s do the patriotic thing - Uncle Sam Needs You to Eat Stink Bugs.* Send in your recipes for stink bug stew, sorbet, spaghetti - I’ll compile the cookbook.

*Ensure to cook with only USDA approved stink bugs.

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